Dore zimwe mu mpamvu zituma abantu badakunda guhirwa mu rukundo

Hari igihe mu buzima bw’umuntu usanga adahirwa mu rukundo rwe. Iteka uko yinjiye mu rukundo ntirumare kabiri.

Hari impamvu nyinshi zishobora kuba zibitera ariko tugiye kurebera hamwe 5 murizo:

1.Kuba wumva ko uzi ibintu byose

Abantu benshi bakunda kwibeshya no kwihenda ko bazi iby’urukundo. Akicara akumva yagezeyo. Urukundo ni urusobe. Kwiga imiterere n’imihindagukirikire yarwo ni uguhozaho.

Umubano cyangwa urukundo ni ishuri nk’ayandi yose. Uko wahoze siko uri ubu, uko umukunzi wawe yahose siko ari kuri ubu, urukundo mwakundanaga siko rukiri. Rushobora kuba rwariyongereye cyangwa rwarakonje. Hari ibihinduka.

Kumukunda cyangwa gushaka ko agukunda nka kera ni ukwibeshya.

Ushobora kuba waramukoreye amakosa akagenda agabanya urukundo agukunda, ushobora kuba waragabanyije umuvuduko mu rukundo akaba yarabonye abandi bakurusha kumwitaho, birashoboka ko yahindutse bitewe n’impamvu nyinshi, nawe rero ukicara ngo uri mu rukundo.

Menya ko urukundo ukundana n’umukunzi wawe cyangwa umubano w’umugabo n’umugore ari ishuri ritajya rirangira, ukomeza wiga. Iyo uhisemo kwishuka ko ubizi uratsindwa, wakomeza umurava nabwo kandi bikakorohera.

Ikuremo indwara yo kwigira nkaho uzi byose mu rukundo.

2.Kutiyizera

Kutiyizera ni umwanzi w’urukundo. Uko waba uri mwiza kose, uko waba ufite igikundiro kingana gute, iyo nta kizere wigirira , byakugora kureshya abasore cyangwa kwegera inkumi ngo uyiterete. Kutiyizera byangiza byinshi , ukiyumva nk’umuntu woroheje , usuzuguritse kandi mu rukundo iyo utangiye kumva wiheje, byose biba byagupfanye.

3.Kwikunda

Umubano n’ urukundo rubaho kubera ko hari abantu barenze umwe basangiye cyangwa bagaragarizanya amarangamutima. Kwikunda, ukumva ibintu byose byiza ari wowe bigomba gukorerwa,ukumva ko wowe utashimisha mugenzi wawe, bizatuma uhora mu ikorosi ryo gutandukana n’abo mukundana.

Nutishyira imbere , ukumva ko na mugenzi wawe akeneye kwitabwaho, bizatuma agusubiza amarangamutima umugaragariza, ikivamo ni ibyishimo bya mwembi, urukundo rusagambe.

Wimubera umutwaro ngo wumve ko ari we ugomba gutuma wishima wowe wiyicariye. Ibyishimo wifuza, urukundo ushaka gukundwa, ntibyakunda nta ruhare ubigizemo. Gukurura wishyira ntacyo bimara mu rukundo.

4.Kwishyiramo ko Urukundo urimo ntaho rwagera

Guhora iteka utekereza ko iherezo urukundo rwanyu ruzagera igihe rukarangira, bituma udatera imbere ntunakore ibyo usabwa. Mugenzi wawe agera aho akarambirwa akishakira abazi icyo urukundo aricyo. Ni byiza ko utabona urukundo urimo nk’urujya mu manga ahubwo ko ruri gutera imbere kandi nawe ugomba kubigiramo uruhare.

5. Guhitamo nabi

Guhitamo neza umuntu mukundana/uwo muzabana akaramata,niyo turufu yo kuryoherwa n’urukundo. Urukundo rukubera rwiza iyo ukundana n’umukunzi mwuzuzanya. Niyo hagize ibibazo bivuka,kubera ko muhuza,murabiganira bikarangira.

Gukundana n’umuntu ukumva, uguhora hafi,utifuza ko hari ikibi cyakugeraho, mwakomanya amahembe aka wa mugani mukabasha kwiyunga,..nibyo bizakubwira ko wahisemo neza. Iyo iteka uhitamo nabi umukunzi, utagendeye ku rukundo, hari ikindi ukurikiye cyangwa agukurikiyeho ntubimenye, bishobora gutuma uzahorana intimba iteka ryose.

Kudahirwa na buri rukundo rwose winjiyemo bishbora kukwangiriza ubuzima n’intekerezo ukanga isi n’ibiyiriho kandi bitari ngombwa. Kosora aho ubona hagomba gukosorwa. Igira ku makosa yahahise yakubayeho. Wikwinjira mu rukundo buhumyi:Hitamo neza, wirinde kwikunda, wiyizere ibindi byose bizizana.

Yanditswe na Bertrand Iradukunda

Comments

comments